I recently spoke to another mom about activities to do with our babies. Eventually, we got to the topic of “mommy & me” yoga classes. You know the image. You’re supremely mastering a tree pose, perfectly focused, calm, serene, while by your side, your baby is smiling, watching and admiring you in silence. Before having a baby, I too had this picture in my mind. I couldn’t wait to sign up. I even heard someone talk about a class where you use your baby as a weight for strength training. What a fabulous idea! And completely impossible!
It’s true, all babies are different. And if you are the parent with the one-in-a-million unicorn child that will stay still for an hour through an exercise class, congratulations. But for most of us, this is ridiculous. Taking a class with your baby would be about as relaxing as trying to get through security at Heathrow on the first day of spring break.
But the difficulties start long before I’d even consider attending a mommy & me class. When on earth am I going to find time to do any kind of workout?
You’ve guessed it. This newsletter is about motherhood, postpartum challenges, and what I’m actually doing to start moving my body again. If you just want to know what’s going on business-wise, go ahead and skip ahead to the last paragraph. Otherwise, keep reading on!
I know I was lucky that my pregnancy went relatively smoothly and there were basically no complications during the birth. That’s not the case for many child-baring parents who suffer from debilitating nausea to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, or end up needing an emergency C-section. Nonetheless, after giving birth, no one’s body – mine included – is the same. This poses both a physical and a mental challenge.
On the psychological side, I’ve faced the need to come to terms with my new self. Sometimes I look in the mirror trying to figure out who I am now. I can’t put it into words, but I feel like a completely different person, and even if I may look the same, it’s hard to identify with my pre-baby self. Are the things I used to enjoy still the things I enjoy or am I just a good impersonator of the person I was? Of course it doesn’t help that people love to chime in, either praising a quick “bounce-back” or lamenting the difficulties of weight loss. But this new body is no worse than my old one. It is equally capable of feats (such as holding a baby for an hour in the perfect position so he can see the world while my arms turn to rubber) and equally worthy of love. Accepting and knowing this (and ignoring the people who like to tell you otherwise) is been step 1. I’m working on it.
Step 2 is actually learning to use my new body. I’ve had to get in the habit of listening to my body and work with it. Sometimes a workout (even pre-pregnancy) is approached as a battle with your body. But it doesn’t have to be like that, and is something I am actively trying to remind myself of. What has helped me is to think of workouts as explorations. As I’m running or dancing or whatever it happens to be, I think about how it feels – checking in with my body like this helps me understand how my body has changed. I’ve realized that I now feel little aches and pains in places that I don’t normally think of. And my hamstrings are also tighter than they’ve been in a really long time. Not to mention that I have to go to pelvic floor ‘reeducation’. (Thank you France for normalizing and covering this through public health insurance, and thank you (?) PT for judging my pelvic floor as a 3 out of 5. Does this mean I’m average? Is there some measurement attached to this? Is the scale 0-based or 1-based?) Anyway, figuring out what it is I’m working with is great knowledge and now I know when to be careful or when to choose alternate exercises.
Lastly, step 3 is going for it. Which is easier said than done when you’re spending most of your day with a newborn. Some things I’ve learned:
Getting the timing right. Our baby wakes up happy most days and can spend a bit of time hanging out in a rocker or highchair without needing constant entertainment. The later it gets in the day, the antsier he becomes, so if I can’t get anyone to watch him, I won’t be getting a home workout in then.
Being the cinema. At 3 months, our little one gets bored pretty quickly if there aren’t things to stimulate him. Luckily, most workouts require you to move around, flail your arms, shake your hips, etc, which is apparently a fantastic source of entertainment for a 3-month-old. Also, this basically means I have an accountability buddy with me the whole time.
Starting small, because I have limited time. While it sometimes feels silly getting into gear for a 10 to 20-minute workout (although who are we kidding, I definitely have “5-minute workouts” in my YouTube search history), it feels better to actually complete a 10-minute workout than to cut short one that was supposed to be 45 minutes. Feeds, diaper explosions, tantrums for no particular reason at all WILL HAPPEN, so I’m learning to set realistic expectations.
Starting small, because it’s what my body needs. My first postpartum run lasted 10 minutes (or less?) and was not fun (it may have been half walking iirc). That was after about two months of working my way up from walking 100 meters to being able to walk regular distances. I’m now at 20-minute runs.
Being my own cheerleader. Starting a fitness journey after 9 months of pregnancy, childbirth, and a seeming eternity of sleepless nights deserves applause. Whether it’s 2 minutes or 2 hours, 5 kgs or 50 kgs, I really do celebrate each workout!
Hopefully moving my new body will eventually help me to figure out who that person in the mirror is.
Before I sign off, a quick business update… because that’s what you actually signed up for (oops!). I’m still learning the ins and outs of Paris real estate. There are plenty of disappointments and challenges, but I’m getting the hang of it! Last Friday, I found a listing, viewed the space, put together a dossier (a letter of intent together with legal business documentation and a business plan), and put in my offer all in the same day. A few months ago, I was nervous just hitting send on a contact message to a realtor, so we’ve come quite far, at least in terms of confidence. Don’t get too excited though because if theres anything I’ve learned throughout this process, it’s to not get too emotionally invested. In the meantime, I’ve been working on my launch plan, talking to potential instructors, and continuing documentation.
Some days feel like a slog, others feel hopeless, and then I have a small win, an inch of progress, and things start looking brighter and exciting again. I guess this is the entrepreneurial journey!
Love,
Tamar
تعليقات